Hm I think it’s been a couple of weeks now that I try to make a blog post about life after birth. Joy my daughter is going to be 5 weeks old tomorrow. So if I created this place for complaining well here you go:
- waking up every night a couple of times for feeding, for nappy change or to unblock her nose
- no sleep during the day either since she always wakes up as soon as I would fall asleep
- wriggling – have no clue why but makes it very difficult to feed or change nappy
- crying as soon as I put her down
- sore nipples – this is the worst like stabbing knives
- worrying – all the time if its too cold, if its too hot, if its too windy, if she can’t breath, if she can’t sleep if she sleeps too much, if she has a spot on her face, etc…
- I am alone most of the day so taking a shower or having breakfast or any other food became the biggest achievements of the day..
Because of the above list I cannot do anything. Literally my whole day is about managing her. Is she hungry, is she tired, did she poo, did she pee, shall I clean her nose, make her sleep, calm her, etc. Full time job, I am her slave. Leaving the house in time to get somewhere is a nightmare as I need to achieve things (e.g. get dressed) which is not on her plate.
It was so much easier in the first couple of weeks. She just fed then slept. It was easy peasy. Now she is a big girl needs to be entertained…Yes she requires full time attention.
Can’t believe she just fooled me again. She looked like someone who was in deep sleep so I put her down and made myself comfy in my bed then she started wriggling, groaning and finally cueing. Ok I started feeding again. And she just fell asleep immediately! She is in my arms right now I am typing with one hand. I am sure as soon as I put her down she would wake up and the process stars from the beginning.
Sometimes I think this whole thing with babies is horrible and women who say “but then this is all worth it because when she smiles at you, bla, bla, bla…” khm khm bullshit. It is just something to comfort themselves. It’s all a lie to trick others into the same trap. Then they can laugh with a witchy voice and think “Haha you bought it too and no escape now. Haha no more traveling, no more new pretty clothes, no more party, nothing in the next 20 years, MUHHAHAHAHAAA”
But then she wakes up and seemingly content and happy. She opens her big beautiful blue eyes, recognize me, smiles at me and…that’s it I am melted. My heart beats for you forever. I love you so much I can’t even express. I could never leave you or let you down. You have my heart forever and I know I am going to give everything and do everything for you. And when you finally fall asleep so I could do some stuff I just want to hold you in my arms and watch you. Because you are so perfect. In every meaning. Beautiful, healthy and innocent: a real miracle. Truly amazing. I am so grateful you entered into my life.
That’s it. I bought it too. No escape. I love you.
So how difficult is to be your mum? Not at all. It is truly my pleasure.
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