I am very excited. Ok I was very excited an hour ago and thought I needed to do a post here. Now I am just very tired and want to go to bed. Anyway. I got very excited because I just made the first costume for my daughter for our party on Sunday! We are going to big fish little fish party in Camden on Sunday afternoon to a cool venue and my favourite cool mum friends are coming too. So there will be a gang of babies and mums and the theme is fairy so I thought Joy could wear her little tutu with the matching t-shirt she already has plus I made a little fairy gown for her which is transparent and light weight but also has some shiny green glittery thread in it. So she will be a real little fairy. I also can wear some of my funky clothes so I am really excited. I am more excited about this baby rave than going out on Saturday. However that should be cool too as one of my mum friends is coming to the gig too. She likes the same music like I do. If someone would have told me even just a year ago that I would want to do things only if baby was involved or at least another mum was there I would have probably laughed out loud. But what to do.
Yes I have to admit that I really cant be bothered going anywhere nor doing anything if my little girl is not involved in any form. I feel good when I take her to a stay and play and feel awkward when I am in the city amongst serious working people. I definitely can’t maintain a conversation more than 10 minutes without talking about her. And yes I do not even have intention to do so. Do not even understand why would I be bothered talking about anything else?
Someone told me a couple of weeks ago that I am now living a mum life and I got upset. I tried to prove that I am still a normal human being. I even went to see Einstürzende Neubauten last week. But I have to admit I just wanted to come home. The gig was awesome but I was too tired to fully engage with the energy flow. Need to note that This was the best EN gig I have ever seen. They played only greatest hits. Still I just felt tired and when my friends were talking about work and parties I got totally bored. Sorry guys. Yes I failed as a normal human being. Because I am a MUM! And as such I really cant understand why would I bother any kind of stress at work when it is much more stressful getting a baby sleep. Or changing my baby’s nappy after a poo when she just wants to wriggle away and protests with a loud scream. Or why would I bother to drink myself to shitface when I can’t sleep off next day and have to bear with a horrible hangover. Instead I can go out and enjoy the sun with my baby on the playground. Hm. Ok that is not that cool. But the baby rave. That is cool, isn’t it?
Oh and I am going to be 38 years old tomorrow. And you know what I cant be bothered with my age. Because I have everything I ever wanted. The need to celebrate it is just a hazy little memory something like oh that is what people do with their birthday. Actually I am excited to go and celebrate it with another mum who also was born on 11th of May and we are going to a baby friendly cafe with soft play area. However I am making plans to have a proper little party for Joy’s first birthday inviting her little friends. Ok at this point she really doesn’t give a sh*t whom I invite but I will invite only mums with babies and already planning the cake I will make for her. And just bought a new dress for her for this occasion. What will I wear on my birthday or on her birthday? Who cares? Maybe something comfy. I am not gonna look younger in anything nor less tired anyway so why would I bother.
So this is how we roll nowadays. And I think the post title should be why would I bother. But actually really. Why?
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